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CZERWONY KAPTUREK
CZERWONY KAPTUREK

ROZDZIAŁ 1
CZERWONY KAPTUREK
Dawno, dawno temu, za górami, rzekami, jeziorami i wieloma innymi strukturami żył sobie pewien rześki i żwawy młodzieniec. Zwano go Czerwonym Kapturkiem, acz tylko nieliczne widziały dlaczego.
Próżno przechodzień szukałby u niego czerwonego kapturka, choć niewątpliwie, gdyby poszukał głębiej, na pewno by go znalazł.
Czerwony Kapturek był bardzo systematycznym młodzieńcem, dobrodusznym, o dużym poczuciu więzi rodzinnej. Może dlatego, że był sierotą i miał tylko Babcię, mieszkającą samotnie w chatynce, głęboko w lesie. Co niedzielę więc odwiedzał ją, zaopatrując ją w przeróżne wiktuały z dużą przewagą ulubionych przez Babcię napoi, niesłusznie przecież zwanych trunkami i nie mając nikogo innego zaplatał z nią więzi, zdejmując uprzednio czerwony kapturek, który uszyła mu Babcia, albowiem bardzo lubiła wnuczka i czerwony kolor, nie mówiąc o systematycznym zaplataniu więzi.
I mogło trwać to długo i szczęśliwie, gdyby nie trafiła w pobliże chatynki pewna całkiem jeszcze niestara, choć doświadczona przez życie i wałęsające się wiejskie psy wilczyca. Przez przypadek zaglądnąwszy do cichego, bez jednego nawet młodego pieska domku, ujrzała widok, który sprawił, że kwiatki pod oknem otrzymały trochę upragnionej wilgoci, albowiem deszcz już dawno nie padał, a Babcia miała inne rzeczy w głowie. I nie tylko w głowie. Tak więc wilczyca pozbyła się rozterek, co robić z niedzielnym popołudniem i tydzień w tydzień wydeptywała ścieżynkę pod okno Babci, co nie było bez wpływu na początkowo bujnie rozrastające się pod oknem kwiaty.
Jednak, jak mówi stare przysłowie, apetyt rośnie w miarę jedzenia, zwłaszcza, gdy się wcale nie je, a tylko ogląda. Wilczyca zapragnęła mieć bardziej aktywny udział w cotygodniowych igraszkach. Długo przemyśliwała, jak by to uczynić, by nie stracić nic z dzielnego rytuału (zresztą, nie łudźmy się- nie miała ona już naprawdę nic do stracenia) i zająć miejsce Babci, aż wreszcie doszła do wniosku, że najlepiej zrobić to dosłownie.
Oszczędźmy czytelnikowi szczegółów okrutnych i jeżących włos gdzieniegdzie i przejdźmy do szczegółów wyłącznie jeżących. Nadeszła niedziela. Czerwony Kapturek jak zwykle zapukał w umówiony sposób do drzwi chatynki.
-Już jestem Babciu!-wykrzyknął z uczuciem rodzinnej więzi.
-HmmHmm!- zahmmała Babcia leżąca w łóżku, w ostatniej chwili chowając kosmaty ogon pod pierzynę.
-A cóż to Babcia robi sama w tym łóżeczku,? -zdumiał się Czerwony Kapturek.
-Nie mogę się doczekać- wychrypiała Babcia namiętnym szeptem, wcale nie udawanym.
-Oj Babciu, ciągle się Babci figle trzymają.
-Oj figle, figle. Oj tak, tak!
-A czemu u Babci tak ciemno?
-Elektrownia pewnie wyłączyła- wyjąkała Babcia.
-Babciu, Babciu- Czerwony Kapturek pokiwał na nią palcem- przecież w tej chacie nie ma prądu.
-Żartowałam tylko, po prostu suszyło mnie nieco, a ponieważ wszystkie butelki były puste, musiałam się uraczyć naftą z lampy.
-Ach tak, pewnie dlatego masz taki głos?
-Czyż nie brzmi ekscytująco?
-Masz rację- stwierdził Czerwony Kapturek, zdejmując przyczynę swego przezwiska, albowiem stała się dla niego zbyt ciasna.
-Och!- wyszeptała Babcia, wpadając w lekkie drżenie.
-Dlaczego masz takie duże oczy? -spytał Czerwony Kapturek podchodząc do łóżka.
-No właśnie dlatego- jęknęła Babcia z rozkoszą porównując rozmiary zawartości czerwonego kapturka ze wszystkim, co dotychczas znała.
-Dlaczego masz takie duże uszy?
-Żeby słuchać twego głosu, mój kochany.
-Dlaczego masz takie duże usta?
-Żebym cię mogła namiętnie całować.
-Dlaczego masz takie owłosione uda?
I tak dalej, i tak dalej…
I od tego czasu Czerwony Kapturek przestał przychodzić co tydzień do chatki, albowiem spędzał tam prawie cały czas. I wbrew temu, co mówią niektórzy, żyli długo i szczęśliwie, a z tego związku narodzili się Romulus i Remus.


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